you learn something new about a person everday.
stacy you were completely right.
he never left her.
&& he is a lying ass mofo.
but ive realized,its beneath me to talk about you anymore.
so lets talk about bigger and better things.
mmhmmm ...
i seen mike.
&& it was like old times.
it was nice, i missed that.
i was stupid for letting him go.
&& i made a promise.
which i shall keep.
ill stay single.
ill stay single.
ill stayyyyyy single.
&& its just for you. "]
you've made me happy once again.
you've taken my mind off of soo much
.&& that my love is why i appreciate you.you
& me is how its suspose to be, && thats a fact.
4.28.08<33333
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
gone.
its hurts.
its killing me.
but i must stay strong.
i thought you were all i ever needed.
but thats beyond the obvisous, i was totally wrong.
i dont know what happened, at this point i dont care.
all i want to know is, why was i sooo stupid to stay there?
wishing upon a star, having faith and hope, thinking you would come through.
yeah i was definetly on dope.
but now its over,
nothign else to do.
when i thought you'd do me,
and i'd do you.
go ahead follow your dream,
im proud of you,
keeping doing your thing.
but no longer will i be lost.
no longer will i be your joke.
you go ahead and dance your life away.
at this point i hope you choke.
i cared for you tremendously,
i thought i couldnt live without you.
yet your reading this arent yuh?
im alive, torn into a trillion pieces.
but A L i V E.
i still miss you,
i still want you,
but i dont think thats how you feel.
so im letting you go, so you can do with your life whatever you think is real,
because this relationship wasnt, nor were your feelings.
i believed you, and you you hurt me like villian.
but now i must go.
ill leave you alone.
ill let you do you.
but remember who really cared for you.
GONEEEEE. . .
its killing me.
but i must stay strong.
i thought you were all i ever needed.
but thats beyond the obvisous, i was totally wrong.
i dont know what happened, at this point i dont care.
all i want to know is, why was i sooo stupid to stay there?
wishing upon a star, having faith and hope, thinking you would come through.
yeah i was definetly on dope.
but now its over,
nothign else to do.
when i thought you'd do me,
and i'd do you.
go ahead follow your dream,
im proud of you,
keeping doing your thing.
but no longer will i be lost.
no longer will i be your joke.
you go ahead and dance your life away.
at this point i hope you choke.
i cared for you tremendously,
i thought i couldnt live without you.
yet your reading this arent yuh?
im alive, torn into a trillion pieces.
but A L i V E.
i still miss you,
i still want you,
but i dont think thats how you feel.
so im letting you go, so you can do with your life whatever you think is real,
because this relationship wasnt, nor were your feelings.
i believed you, and you you hurt me like villian.
but now i must go.
ill leave you alone.
ill let you do you.
but remember who really cared for you.
GONEEEEE. . .
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
now im making love to nikki.=X
im done.
i dont want to hear it.
its over, wanna know why?
oh yeah because i said so.
i dislike you at this point.
your a liar.
i dont care about anything thing you say.
wanna know why?
because i dont believe you.
you see me today.
i dont hear from you the next day.
what kinda ish is that?
am i a toy to you?
do i look like a joke?
i deadass stopped talking to someone who LOVES me, for you?
someone who would give the world and more, for you?
you swear imma be here forvever,
waiting on you to realize that im your girl?
to think i am wasting my time with you.
to think i am not with the guy who means the world to me,
because i rather be with you?
yet i rather be with him.
because he worries about me,
he calls me, he LOVES me.
he argues with me, because me loves me.
he gets jealous, because he loves me.
he wants me allll to himself, because he loves me.
he loves me so much he hates it.
and ive come to realize, i like it.
i want him, because he wants me.
because it has gotten to a point that this is meant to be.
and if its not, then i dont know what it is.
but in my mind, in my world, in my heart.
ME && HiM ARE MEANT TO BEEEEEEE.
and i wouldnt want it any other way.
so if you are reading this by any chance,
just know imma be happy WiTHOUT you.
muahahahaha.=D
line of the day;;
if your cute & can dance,
ohh babyyy you can get in my pants.<3
lmfaoooo [inside joke]
i dont want to hear it.
its over, wanna know why?
oh yeah because i said so.
i dislike you at this point.
your a liar.
i dont care about anything thing you say.
wanna know why?
because i dont believe you.
you see me today.
i dont hear from you the next day.
what kinda ish is that?
am i a toy to you?
do i look like a joke?
i deadass stopped talking to someone who LOVES me, for you?
someone who would give the world and more, for you?
you swear imma be here forvever,
waiting on you to realize that im your girl?
to think i am wasting my time with you.
to think i am not with the guy who means the world to me,
because i rather be with you?
yet i rather be with him.
because he worries about me,
he calls me, he LOVES me.
he argues with me, because me loves me.
he gets jealous, because he loves me.
he wants me allll to himself, because he loves me.
he loves me so much he hates it.
and ive come to realize, i like it.
i want him, because he wants me.
because it has gotten to a point that this is meant to be.
and if its not, then i dont know what it is.
but in my mind, in my world, in my heart.
ME && HiM ARE MEANT TO BEEEEEEE.
and i wouldnt want it any other way.
so if you are reading this by any chance,
just know imma be happy WiTHOUT you.
muahahahaha.=D
line of the day;;
if your cute & can dance,
ohh babyyy you can get in my pants.<3
lmfaoooo [inside joke]
Monday, November 17, 2008
im blue dabadeedabadaa
i seen him.
im happy.^__^
he told me he misses me.
im happy.^__^
he held my hand and kissed me.
im happy.^__^
god im sprung.
but im happy.^__^
so it occured today.
i seen him today.
he made me happy.
&& he filled me with joy.
yet, im scared.
im scared it might occur again.
we will be distanced from each other.
we wont see each other for a while.
i dont want this to happen, he his life si completely different from mines.=X
while i go to school, he dances, its his life.
as well as its mine, yet i dont take it as serious.
why take it serious when your dream will be taken from you?
i was deprived from a dream, a dream in which i still dream of.
yet my baby's making it happen, he is doing his thing without anyone stopping him.
and im proud of him, im proud he is making his dream come true.
yet a dancers life is annoying, he has to practice, and go to auditions.
which is completely understandable, yet i need my time.
fck all these feelings, fck these thoughts.
ive been happy allllll day long and its all because of him.
yet. . .
i s t i l l m i s s h i m .<3333333
im happy.^__^
he told me he misses me.
im happy.^__^
he held my hand and kissed me.
im happy.^__^
god im sprung.
but im happy.^__^
so it occured today.
i seen him today.
he made me happy.
&& he filled me with joy.
yet, im scared.
im scared it might occur again.
we will be distanced from each other.
we wont see each other for a while.
i dont want this to happen, he his life si completely different from mines.=X
while i go to school, he dances, its his life.
as well as its mine, yet i dont take it as serious.
why take it serious when your dream will be taken from you?
i was deprived from a dream, a dream in which i still dream of.
yet my baby's making it happen, he is doing his thing without anyone stopping him.
and im proud of him, im proud he is making his dream come true.
yet a dancers life is annoying, he has to practice, and go to auditions.
which is completely understandable, yet i need my time.
fck all these feelings, fck these thoughts.
ive been happy allllll day long and its all because of him.
yet. . .
i s t i l l m i s s h i m .<3333333
Sunday, November 16, 2008
ladidadi juice likes to party.
sooo umm yeah.
today was a fairly interesting day.
locked on my laptop, somhow, dont ask because i dont even know.
so i called up the company, and to my luck i get the coolest 21 yr old tech on the phone.
we literally spoke for nearly 3 hours about absolutely nothing.
it was weird yet somehow cool.
so he helped me out with everything i needed help with.
then when everythign was good and ready to go, he didnt want to hang up the phone.
however lets talk about the fellows voice, so he is from missouri.
&& umm yeah he had the onlyyyy country accent.
it was kind of cute then again, it got annoying.
point of the story is i was on the phone with someone i didnt know,
who was suspose to be helping me with my technical problem for nearly 3 hrs.
anyways. . .
so im suspose to see this somebody tmrw.
yet when the day comes for us to see each other it never happens.
i feel like mike when we were dating.
now i feel his pain.
now i see why he would spazz.
now i actaully understand where he was coming from.
maybe its karma?
being a bitch always doesnt get you what you want.
today was a fairly interesting day.
locked on my laptop, somhow, dont ask because i dont even know.
so i called up the company, and to my luck i get the coolest 21 yr old tech on the phone.
we literally spoke for nearly 3 hours about absolutely nothing.
it was weird yet somehow cool.
so he helped me out with everything i needed help with.
then when everythign was good and ready to go, he didnt want to hang up the phone.
however lets talk about the fellows voice, so he is from missouri.
&& umm yeah he had the onlyyyy country accent.
it was kind of cute then again, it got annoying.
point of the story is i was on the phone with someone i didnt know,
who was suspose to be helping me with my technical problem for nearly 3 hrs.
anyways. . .
so im suspose to see this somebody tmrw.
yet when the day comes for us to see each other it never happens.
i feel like mike when we were dating.
now i feel his pain.
now i see why he would spazz.
now i actaully understand where he was coming from.
maybe its karma?
being a bitch always doesnt get you what you want.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
silent scream.
never leave someone you like for someone you love.
because that someone you like will leave you for someone they love?
maybe this is true.
maybe it was stupid of me to even think we had hope.
somewhere along these roads i have become heartless.
i dont care anymore, im not filled with the joy i once was.
the joy you gave me, when i would see your face.
whatever you say to me is worth nothing.
i dont believe S H i T you say anymore.
i believed you when you told me i was your everything.
i believed you when you used to tell me you missed me.
yet now, you say it, i can care less, you text it, i delete it.
you call, i dont pick up.
and you might wonder, why?
&& im going to explain to you why.
. . .
because you mean so much to me,
yet obvisously i dont mean shit to you.
i feel as if i love you, yet you show no type of emotion.
i fell for you, i fell hard.
and what did i get in return?
[sigh]
i dont know what you want.
when you tell me you miss me,
its like you just say it to say it.
i know you dont mean this.
&& if you do SHOW iT.
is that so much to ask for.
so i write in this blog all my emotions,
which i rather not express to you.
yet when i see you i melt.=/
i hate it.
i hate it.
i hate it.
i adore you,
but i dont want to.
i miss you,
yet i dont want to.
i want you,
but i dont want to.
i need you,
yet i dont want to.
i remember the first time we kissed.
[sigh]
F LA S H
because that someone you like will leave you for someone they love?
maybe this is true.
maybe it was stupid of me to even think we had hope.
somewhere along these roads i have become heartless.
i dont care anymore, im not filled with the joy i once was.
the joy you gave me, when i would see your face.
whatever you say to me is worth nothing.
i dont believe S H i T you say anymore.
i believed you when you told me i was your everything.
i believed you when you used to tell me you missed me.
yet now, you say it, i can care less, you text it, i delete it.
you call, i dont pick up.
and you might wonder, why?
&& im going to explain to you why.
. . .
because you mean so much to me,
yet obvisously i dont mean shit to you.
i feel as if i love you, yet you show no type of emotion.
i fell for you, i fell hard.
and what did i get in return?
[sigh]
i dont know what you want.
when you tell me you miss me,
its like you just say it to say it.
i know you dont mean this.
&& if you do SHOW iT.
is that so much to ask for.
so i write in this blog all my emotions,
which i rather not express to you.
yet when i see you i melt.=/
i hate it.
i hate it.
i hate it.
i adore you,
but i dont want to.
i miss you,
yet i dont want to.
i want you,
but i dont want to.
i need you,
yet i dont want to.
i remember the first time we kissed.
[sigh]
F LA S H
Friday, November 14, 2008
wowzers.
im tired of waiting to see you.
im tired of planning something with you,
and then it doesnt go as planned.
ever think it hurts?
did it ever cross you mind that i miss you tremendously?
obvisously it hasnt.
jared is the ultimate best guy out there.
i love him odee.
i swear if it wasnt for him.
my day would of been mega shitty.
call me emtional.
but my emotions for you are outta control.
i dont know what to do anymore about these feelings.
its killing me, i havent seen you in so long.
ive never felt like this about anyone.
and its getting to the point where . . .
where . . . my feelings . . . my feelings.
its a matter of I N D IF F E R E N C E.
it isnt what i want to feel, i shouldnt feel like this.
because your MY BABY, my boyfriend.
but i just dont know anymore.
i dont know how to tell you.
maybe this not seeing you thing has gotten to me.
but since i cant tell you because your "too busy for your girlfriend."
i guess writing this might help.=/
shiiittt meng i just miss you!!!!!!!!!!!
im tired of planning something with you,
and then it doesnt go as planned.
ever think it hurts?
did it ever cross you mind that i miss you tremendously?
obvisously it hasnt.
jared is the ultimate best guy out there.
i love him odee.
i swear if it wasnt for him.
my day would of been mega shitty.
call me emtional.
but my emotions for you are outta control.
i dont know what to do anymore about these feelings.
its killing me, i havent seen you in so long.
ive never felt like this about anyone.
and its getting to the point where . . .
where . . . my feelings . . . my feelings.
its a matter of I N D IF F E R E N C E.
it isnt what i want to feel, i shouldnt feel like this.
because your MY BABY, my boyfriend.
but i just dont know anymore.
i dont know how to tell you.
maybe this not seeing you thing has gotten to me.
but since i cant tell you because your "too busy for your girlfriend."
i guess writing this might help.=/
shiiittt meng i just miss you!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
bom chica wah wah?
rushed to class.
class is cancelled.
annoyed in the following class.
go to the mall with stace, then start cramping.
go home, to find all the doors to my house locked.
so i sit in the living room to wait for my mother, it takes her odee long to get home.
so yeah my fellow friends that was my day, fairly interesting dont cha think?
anywayssss. . .
it hurts to love to.
yet not loving you hurts more.
its like i need you, yet i dont want to.
i want you, && i need you.
need you.
need you to keep me sane.
need you to be there.
want you.
want you to hold me.
want you to tell me you love me.
need you.
need you to tell me everythigns goign to be alright when its not.
need you to tell me you want me.
want you.
want you to kiss me everytime i look at you.
want you to tell me you need me as much as you want me.
fact;;;;
its a million times better to be wanted than needed. get me?
class is cancelled.
annoyed in the following class.
go to the mall with stace, then start cramping.
go home, to find all the doors to my house locked.
so i sit in the living room to wait for my mother, it takes her odee long to get home.
so yeah my fellow friends that was my day, fairly interesting dont cha think?
anywayssss. . .
it hurts to love to.
yet not loving you hurts more.
its like i need you, yet i dont want to.
i want you, && i need you.
need you.
need you to keep me sane.
need you to be there.
want you.
want you to hold me.
want you to tell me you love me.
need you.
need you to tell me everythigns goign to be alright when its not.
need you to tell me you want me.
want you.
want you to kiss me everytime i look at you.
want you to tell me you need me as much as you want me.
fact;;;;
its a million times better to be wanted than needed. get me?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
flash.
umm.
UGGS?
shopping?
emotions running wild?
going to an 2 hour fckn appointment?
flabbergasted like never before?
yeah i think that sums up my day pretty darn well.
so he told me"babe your my everything."
i dont know how to take this.
sure its a good thing, great ill say.
he means sooo much to me.
yet for some reason i dont believe him.
you came into my life at the right time.
i hold your hands you hold mines.
F L A S H
yet is this the right thing to do?
you have your girl, while i had m i k e .
i give you a kiss, you hold me tight.
i feel for you deeply, && you know this in your mind.
F L A S H
its like a kodak moment everytime.
F L A S H
UGGS?
shopping?
emotions running wild?
going to an 2 hour fckn appointment?
flabbergasted like never before?
yeah i think that sums up my day pretty darn well.
so he told me"babe your my everything."
i dont know how to take this.
sure its a good thing, great ill say.
he means sooo much to me.
yet for some reason i dont believe him.
you came into my life at the right time.
i hold your hands you hold mines.
F L A S H
yet is this the right thing to do?
you have your girl, while i had m i k e .
i give you a kiss, you hold me tight.
i feel for you deeply, && you know this in your mind.
F L A S H
its like a kodak moment everytime.
F L A S H
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